The five stages of sobriety

 

Stage # 1: STUPID When your consciousness starts to return and you enjoy the pleasure of headaches, bubbling stomachs and cold sweats, you realize that you have lost not only a few hours of your life, but also your ability to concentrate on anything. You have become STUPID for at least 12 hours ahead.

 

# 2: THREATENING Basically, you're not happy with the bathroom mirror, but now ... now you're horrified to find that you've become even MORE ugly than you ever feared you might be. Not only are your eyes bloodshot and your skin spotted, but you're shaking all over so that your grandfather looks healthier than you. Unfortunately, you are still STUPID and trying to shave while you are in this condition. Auch.

 

 Stage # 3: POOR He barely crawled out of bed, pulled on some clothes, started to go out ... and found that the money you had to make by the end of the week was missing from your wallet. You are STUPID, so you can't remember what happened to them. Although the traces of curry on your clothes make you think of a mass treat for all the shoppers from the 24-hour Indian diner ... Or maybe they robbed you? Or did you give the taxi driver a fiftieth without asking? Thinking that you couldn't be so STUPID and that you would remember if you were robbed, you come to the conclusion that you seemed to be the only one who paid for food and drinks all night. And you start to hate your friends. 

 

 Stage # 4: FRAGILE You are STUPID, UGLY and POOR. Of course, your self-esteem will collapse. And because you are FRAGILE physically - you will fall apart if someone even talks to you.

 

 Stage # 5: EYEFUL The last stage of sobriety. Unfortunately, everyone notices your BREATHING condition and the reason for it. From afar. And what's worse, people realize that they can aggravate your misfortune by making fun of you. And you are too STUPID to respond to them properly, too FRAGILE to make fun of them, too POOR to bribe them, and too ugly to hide.