The Diary of an American

May 12

 Today was a remarkable day because I have a birthday. In the morning I got up and decided it was time to get in shape, it is quite difficult to maintain my 145 kg. I did two squats and my waist went numb, I went to the doctor for an examination. Dr. Brown is a great doctor, but he told me that I was overworked, so I have to be careful with intense training. When I thought about it, I realized that he was right, I'm not preparing for the national team after all. I went to school late, but nothing went wrong, I have a birthday. I had decided to treat my students, but I had to ask permission, the principal allowed it, but only if it was healthy. So in the break we all ate delicious healthy burgers / I didn't have much money and that's why I took only 5 per person, and they were on promotion / and chocolate pie / only 300 grams per piece - we have to take care of our figures anyway / Something strange happened, it's true that I used to like boys more, but now I suddenly fell in love with a stylish babe - a ballerina. Jane was the most gorgeous and fine girl I had ever seen with a slightly greasy long hair (probably a little dirty from the burgers) a slender figure and hips. You can't imagine how much pleasure I felt when I saw her dancing Swan Lake in the role of the dying swan. She told me that she weighed only 167 kg and that it was obvious that she really kept a strict regime so that she could dance like that with this slender body. The music teacher told us that this Swan Lake was written by a certain Tchaikovsky, but he stole it from our composer. Eh all steal from us was, can not understand that we are the founders of all the sublime. Well, we celebrated the evening with ours, I even got a little drunk, but Jane brought this beer. You do not know what things can do with a glass of beer. So enchants this alcohol and especially in large quantities.