How politics should be viewed

Socialism: you have two cows and you give one to your neighbor. Communism: you have two cows, the government takes them and gives you some milk. Fascism: you have two cows, the government takes them and sells you milk. Nazism: you have two cows, the government takes them and shoots you. Bureaucracy: you have two cows, the government takes them, shoots one, milks the other, and throws away the milk. Classic capitalism: you have two cows, you sell one and you buy a bull. You raise a lot of cows, the economy grows. You retire and live on your income. American Corporation: You have two cows. You are selling one. You force the other to give milk to four cows. Then you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow died. French Corporation: you have two cows and you start a strike because you want to have three cows. Japanese Corporation: you have two cows and you change them so that they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow and give 20 times more milk. Then you make an ingenious cartoon portrait called Kravakimon and sell them around the world. German Corporation: you have two cows that you change so that they live 100 years, feed once a month and milk themselves. Italian Corporation: you have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You're just going to lunch. Russian Corporation: you have two cows. Count them - count 5. Count them again - count 42. Count again - count 2. Stop counting and open a new bottle of vodka. Swiss Corporation: you have 5,000 cows, but none of them are your property. You make others pay you because you keep them. Chinese Corporation: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them and you report full employment, high animal productivity and you arrest the journalist who published the real numbers. Indian Corporation: You have two cows and you pray to these deities. British Corporation: you have two cows. Both cows are "crazy cows". Egyptian Corporation: you have two cows. Both cows vote for President Mubarak. Bulgarian Corporation: you have two cows, one is a winner in a math Olympiad, the other is a prostitute, but both live abroad and vote for BSP, NMSS and MRF at the same time. The cows are tired and go for coffee, and you import milk from the EU.