How to drive your wife crazy

 1. Allegedly mistakenly call her by the dog's name, and then deny it. 2. Answer her questions with questions. Preferably on a completely different topic. 3. Squeeze your jeans a little, when she reacts with the remark "I think I'm overweight", you answer that you like her with more meat on her and don't worry, because obese women are in fashion. (Not anorexia) 4. Whenever you travel somewhere, refuse to ask for directions, even if the case is of the type "We will go to Burgas, but this seems to be Varna." 5. Call her by her mother's name and then deny that you did. 6. Start talking to the dog in the middle of an important conversation with her. 7. Buy a drill for Valentine's Day. 8. Never give her the right answer. 9. Leave your newspaper or computer on a page on the topic of plastic surgery. 10. Answer the questions with "Yes, darling." 11. When asked if you know what day it is today (anniversary), jump off the couch and turn on the TV to wait for a game. 12. Tell friends that you have a dream to have a threesome with another woman. Not that it doesn't satisfy you, you're just curious. 13. Say what kind of cool chick they hired in the company you work for and describe it to the smallest detail, and then say that she is not your type, she is too cool for you (the chick). 14. When something comes to you, answer "Yes, well" to everything and do something else throughout the conversation. 15. On her birthday, give her knitting hooks. (To fill her time - she's years old after all)