Diseases :) in future fathers

 1. Symptoms: wide-open eyes, half-drooping lower jaw, followed by inappropriate behavior in the form of screaming, waving limbs, running around, jumping. Name of the disease - notification of pregnancy. Duration: 1 to 3 hours. 2 . Swelling in the chest area (so-called swelling) with the danger of breaking (or at least cracking) of the vertebrae or ribs, arrogant gait, silly smile type "32 carats", feverish look. Illness - first days after notification. Duration: about 3 weeks. 3. Pain in the eyes in bright light, ringing of bells in the head with loud speech, swaying, groaning type "I want to die", possible vomiting. Illness - drinking after notification. Duration - several evenings (depending on the number of friends). 4. Nausea, stomach pain, fatigue, heartburn. Illness - his wife is sick (him out of solidarity - too). Duration: 4 months. 5. Touching someone else's belly, putting an ear on it in the middle of the night, jumping during sleep with a shout "kick?" and accusations of numbness in the line "It was her going to bed!". Illness - waiting for the baby to kick. Duration: 10 weeks. 6. Thoughtfulness, patterning, drawing sketches, a huge amount of crumpled paper, irritability when interrupting the thought process by another person (for example by his wife). Illness - a plan to prepare the baby's room. Duration: 1 week. 7. Competition with his wife type "who has a bigger belly". Disease - developing pregnancy. Duration: 6 months, after which it begins to lag significantly behind. 8. Punched, cut, bruised fingers; falling from heights; fried; stiff cross, legs, arms. Illness - repair of the baby's room. Duration: 2 weeks. 9. Cleaning, washing, cooking ... Illness - his wife has to lie down. Duration: 3 days (then call your mother). 10. Complaints "it will damage my kidneys" (and what happens to those of his wife), "I'm not blinking all night from this kick", etc. Illness - the baby kicks. Duration: 10 weeks. 11. Shouting in public "See how your belly moves" (as if you don't feel it). Illness - the baby is moving. Duration of the attack: 2-3 times (stopping after sharp remarks). 12. Amazement "such small clothes?!?", Distrust in the intended size of the baby, exclamation "how much money ????". Illness - shopping for baby clothes. Duration: 2-3 hours. 13. Swelling of the legs, heartburn, cramps in the stomach. Illness - birth is approaching (not his). Duration: 2 weeks. 14. Grabbing keys and luggage. Illness - innocent moaning of the pregnant woman ("Do not laugh - you will not become a father" says in the address of his wife). Duration: 3 to 5 times in 14 days. 15. Haste, pushing your wife "Hurry up, do you want to give birth on the road", driving a Schumacher type, indignation "how can you be so calm ?!". Disease - contractions of the pregnant woman. Duration: from home to hospital. 16. Symptoms number 3. Illness - intoxication in the case of the newborn. Duration: 1 to 3 days. 17. Trembling hands, stuttering, feverish look and proud posture. Illness - discharge of the baby. If your husband has any of the symptoms described above - keep the spirit present - you are just pregnant.